Love is Wonderful but will not save you

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Photo by Victor U

This post is dedicated to all my WonderFULL Women. With Love.

 

Love is WonderFULL. Love is amazing. Love is very powerful, that’s right. And everybody deserves to have it in their life. But first of all, let’s remember that Love is not just the love for a life partner (whatever gender you like).

  1. First of all you have to love yourself. You have to listen, accept and celebrate yourself. You have to be grateful to yourself, and be gentle with yourself, everyday. You have to be your fan number 1. You have to be your ideal partner. 
  2. Love your life. Love your environment. Love the people around you. Love the nature. Love the animals. Love your job. Love your passions. Love your mistakes. Love your dreams. Love everything around you. Spread love everyday and everywhere.
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Photo by Pia Kristine

 

Starting with these two actions you will be stronger  with your own personal balance. You will be more ready. You will naturally attract someone else who is so intrigued by your energy and self confidence and will (consciously and unconsciously) want to be part of it.

 

YOU CANNOT THINK TO LOOK FOR LOVE OUT, BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL, LOVE IS INSIDE OF YOU. If you say that you are looking for love at the same time it’s like you are saying that something is missing and this is creating a pain, an empty space. Unconsciously you are saying that you cannot be happy until you will not find a partner.

 

Why jumping in a relationship looking for love, looking for happiness, trying to fulfill an empty space are dangerous? Because the risk becomes dependent from our partner without him/her we would feel incomplete. So in case that relationship will finish we would mourn 2 losses: our identity and the relationship itself. This cannot happen. Women need to love themselves more, take the responsibility of their life and don’t throw at the partner thousands of expectations, in this way we will certainly find ourselves disappointed, or worse.

JOIN our WonderFULL Women Community! https://www.facebook.com/groups/wonderfullwomen/ 

 

Helen Fisher says that, first of all, it’s important to recognize that there are 3 different kind of love: Lust, Attraction and Attachment.

 

        Lust is a feeling of sexual desire ( Yes dear Women, we also can have just this)

 

       Attraction is different. Here you feel appeal, a big motivation to pursue and choose a  partner.

 

        Attachment is more of a feeling of bonding around sharing a home, parental duties, mutual defense, safety and security.

 

The big point here is that these three categories are independent from each other, they can even be felt for different persons. This happens because each feeling has an independent origin. Lust and attraction are often more deep-seated, primal, and uncontrolled feelings. Attachment, however, can often be more of a conscious choice.

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Johnny Lai

So many women today are complaining that it is so difficult to find a good man who is not scared of commitment. Passing the responsibility on to external circumstances is the way your subconscious mind tries to lead you away from the truth of what is really going on. If you find the truth, you will change your results. Let’s change the results!

 

What is the cause?

What is the effect?

 

Ask yourself these two questions, try lo list your experiences and think about it without being hard on yourself.

 

Now, is there a possibility that you have a strong unconscious desire to stay single? What are the benefits you receive from this status? Do you think you are ok to give them up for a committed relationship?

Is there a possibility that you are scared from emotional intimacy? Did deep trying to find the root of this. What was the cause?

Do you see any patterns? I know it’s hard, it has been hard for me as well, but we need to accept that we are the biggest cause of these patterns. Now, it’s important to accept this responsibility and remind to ourselves that at the same time we are also the agent of change. We have the power to do so, let’s just not postpone it, ok?

 

Love is an ability that we need to develop. Love is a superpower that we can grow in ourselves starting from ourselves.

 

Dear WonderFULL Women, you are amazing. We are all FULL of Wonder, we all deserve Love and we all have to work for it.

 

Do you want to book a free session with me?

Contact me at: martina.pavone@gmail.com

 

Do you want to learn more about WonderFULL Women? READ HERE! 

Do you want to learn more about my communication coaching? READ HERE! 


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